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Shocking new treatment for the bedroom blues

You may think there’s nothing that can shock you anymore, but hold onto your seat — because the latest news from sexual health is guaranteed to give you a real jolt.

A weird new study claims that guys can get things going “down there” with a form of shock therapy delivered straight to the you-know-what.

Yes, you read that right.

If you’re like me, the very thought of it has you squirming in your seat.

But supposedly, the shocks delivered to the shaft of the penis don’t hurt, at least not much. Most guys handle it without anesthesia, and describe it as a “tingling” sensation more than anything else.

The new analysis looked at 14 studies and found that while some showed no improvement, most did — and overall, the shocks doubled erectile function compared to no treatment at all.

Who knows? Maybe some guys were zapped into having a permanent erection.

Guys, if you want to turn your penis into a Frankenstein experiment, be my guest. At the very least, it’s probably safer than those sex meds they’re always advertising on TV.

But you don’t have to zap yourself down there OR take those pills to get the bedroom boost you need.

A second new study that isn’t getting nearly as much attention shows something that’s just as good, doesn’t hurt or even “tingle” and can improve everything from mood to muscle as it boosts your sex life.

It’s testosterone!

Older guys with mild sexual dysfunction enjoy significant improvements by just about every measure that matters, according to the study that compared testosterone gel to a placebo gel in 470 senior men.

They have more sex… more orgasms… a stronger libido… and of course things just plain work better where and when you want them to.

Of the 12 different measures of sexual health tested in the study in the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism, testosterone improved 10 of them — which isn’t a perfect score, but is darn close to it.

And turning up the heat in the bedroom isn’t the only benefit.

Guys who don’t get testosterone when they need it are 80 percent more likely to suffer a heart attack, according to a study published just this past spring.

So who needs testosterone? Just about every older guy, because once you pass middle age, your hormones are like union factory workers 30 minutes before quitting time… they practically shut down entirely.

That leaves you with sinking testosterone levels and everything that comes with it: a bigger belly… a slower step… a foggy brain… weaker muscle… and of course that drop in bedroom activity.

Not every guy needs actual hormone therapy. Supplements such as ram’s horn clover can often restart your body’s hormone factory.

If that doesn’t work, then you might need hormone gel or injections. Seek the wisdom of an experienced naturopathic physician. I recommend working with a member of the American College for Advancement in Medicine.

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