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Phony baloney study claims meats cause cancer

I’ve been bringing home the bacon my entire life, and I’m not about to stop now.

There is nothing in this world tastier than bacon. And despite what the Panic Police want you to believe, bacon can be a perfectly healthy part of your diet.

It’s LOADED with inflammation-fighting, brain-boosting, heart-protecting B vitamins, especially niacin — a nutrient so powerful there’s even evidence it could add years to your life.

Now, a ridiculous new report from the lunatic fringe at the World Health Organization claims processed meats cause cancer.

But don’t give up your bacon, brats and black-forest ham just yet… because this agency is full of another type of processed meat: BALONEY!

Those nuts want you to believe absolutely everything causes cancer — so much so that of the nearly 1,000 substances analyzed by the organization’s International Agency for Research on Cancer, JUST ONE has been declared not carcinogenic.

(For the record, it’s a compound called caprolactam, used to make a type of nylon found in everything from auto parts to toothbrush bristles.)

The new declaration on processed meats isn’t based on a series of gold-standard clinical trials. It was based on a meta-analysis of studies that relied on food questionnaires — in other words, asking people to not only remember everything they ate, but how much and how often.

Based on those loosey-goosey “studies,” they leapt to this huge conclusion. And then, for an encore, they declared red meat to be a “possible” carcinogen.

I’d say red meat’s in good company — it’s on the same list as coffee. While the dopes at the World Health Organization claim coffee might cause cancer, actual science shows coffee will PREVENT the disease — especially cancers of the bowels, prostate, skin, mouth, esophagus and more.

They’ve even put Japanese pickled vegetables on the list. If you’ve ever been to Japan or even eaten at a Japanese restaurant, you’ve seen those pickles served on a little plate at just about every meal (even breakfast).

Yet Japan has one of the LOWEST rates of cancer in the world!

So keep drinking your coffee. And if you like pickled vegetables, be my guest. Most importantly, keep eating your protein-packed bacon, steak and whatever other meats you enjoy.

They won’t give you cancer, but they WILL give you good health.

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