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You won’t believe what the feds are attacking now

People are dropping like flies thanks to bad meds and poisoned foods — and what’s the FDA worried about?

Tattoos!

You just can’t make this up, my friend… but the agency that can’t even protect you from listeria in your cheese is now trying to protect you from “body art.”

PUH-LEAZE!

There was a time when you weren’t a man until you got liquored up one night with your friends and got some ink.

Maybe it was the name of your beloved, inside of a heart. Maybe it was an anchor or the USMC logo.

And of course, there’s the classic: MOM.

Today, some ink on the arm isn’t enough anymore. Some folks have so many tattoos they look like “The Illustrated Man” at the carnival.

That’s not my thing. But if that’s what you’re into, I’m not going to judge.

The FDA, on the other hand, IS here to judge. The Fun Destruction Agency is declaring war on tattoos — warning that a simple tattoo can give you some kind of horrible infection.

Sometimes, it might be a skin reaction to the ink. In other cases, the ink itself could have germs in it… giving you an infection to go with your new art.

Then there’s the fear over dirty needles.

Never mind that any tattoo joint worth your time and money will use NEW needles on each customer, and will even take them out of the package right in front of you. (Run the other way if they don’t.)

You’d think the FDA would have more important things to worry about, like fixing its own monster mistakes first.

They’ve already got their hands full with their own inspector general, who said the agency is downright incompetent when it comes to protecting the food supply.

Yet here they are, issuing warnings over tattoos. Drawings of dolphins and dragons, for crying out loud!

Listen, I’m not going to say the risks aren’t real.

There are risks in everything we do. You can get creamed by a truck just crossing the street.

But a little common sense, like looking both ways, can cut the risks. In this case, there are simple ways to make sure a tattoo doesn’t come with any of the extras the FDA is warning of.

If you’re looking to commemorate your retirement… or the birth of your grandbaby… or the passing of a loved one… you should know about the special needs of older skin, which is less elastic and more likely to bruise

Ask friends or go online for recommendations of a legit tattoo parlor with artists who’ll work more slowly to create a shallower — and less damaging — design.

And remember that the needles they use may draw some blood, so beware if you’ve got any circulation issues or are on blood thinners.

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